Fuck Ricardo and this chicken bus...

There's always this one guy that people know that has a special skill. The guy at work who can fix your computer before you call IT support, the guy who can bring your iPhone back from the brink of death or the guy that knows where the best parties are at. Well we were recommended by our volunteer program company who could point us in the right direction for tours, travel and accommodation.

This could be Ricardo..

There's a small 'tour office' next to the volunteer office run by a guy called Ricardo. Supposedly he knew some of the best places to go in Costa Rica, the best ways to get there and the best accommodation. We used Ricardo for our first weekend away in Costa Rica headed to Manuel Antonio, suggesting and reserving accomodation at a hostel, organise the bus and courtesy bus to the bus station. I'll summarise the trip here:

• Ricardo said it would take between 3-4hrs to get there but it only took 2.5 (Ricardo gains points)
• Arrive at the hostel with nobody to check us in, and the people that arrived before us saying that they had reserved rooms with private bathrooms with AC which did not exist (Ricardo looses points). We decided to stay next door in a private room with private bath and AC for cheaper.
• The following day one of the guys that stayed at the original hostel the first night shows us what he believes to be bed bug bites (Ricardo looses points)
• The bus trip home takes 5 hrs (neither here nor there)

I guess we all decided that he had a pretty good time there so we 'forgave' the accomodation and decided to use his skills two weeks later for a trip to Fortuna and the Arenal volcano. We did the same thing and booked the direct bus and courtesy shuttle to the bus station. We had looked at some accomodation in/around Fortuna including hotels with hot springs to hostels with private bathrooms etc. Ricardo said that because it was low season we need not worry about booking accomodation and we would get a better rate if we just showed up. Here come those bullet points again.

• We were at Maximo to get the shuttle to the bus station 10 minutes before our pickup time. Pick up time came and went but we happened to run into Ricardo who when asked said that he forgot to book it. Cabs are called, we were told that he would cover the costs. (Ricardo looses quite a few points)
• We are split into two cabs, our cab arrives after the other one just as the bus is supposed to depart. We have to pay 5,000 colones (around $10) and rush onto the bus. (Ricardo looses more points)
• Our 'expresso' bus makes a number of stops before we reach the airport (around 15km away) taking around an hour. Over the course of the journey we average 30km/h making stops to pick up school children, farmers, onboard refreshment vendors (who are selling everything from chips to fruit to what I think are dried chicken feet), pregnant ladies, fat ladies carrying fat toddlers who decide to recline their seats in such a position causing crush injuries to my lower limbs. We stop to pick up so many people that this coach is now packed, I don't mean seats full, I mean seats full, aisle full, front and rear steps full. (Ricardo looses MAS points)



If we picked up anybody else I imagine it would've looked something like this

• After 5.5 hours of driving, stopping, driving, stoping we finally completed the arduous journey of 120km. (FUCK this chicken bus)
• We try to secure accomodation and find that practically everywhere is booked out on at least one of the nights we need (Fuck Ricardo and that chicken bus)

Not all is lost though, we find a little hotel called Luigi's and manage to squeeze 5 people into a room with 3 queen beds and have a pretty amazing time. I feel like I should cover our actual trip in another entry which isn't of as negative sentiment.

I might add we were booked to travel in the same bus but in reverse, so we could only imagine how long the journey would take climbing mountains to get home. Needless to say we sold our bus tickets and hired a car. Just on 2 hours after departing, we arrive home.

-Stew

Just a note, Ricardo has not been used since...